From Confusion to Clarity and Delight!

Situation/Problem:

When P. R. started working with me, she had numerous options, but no idea how to focus on those that would create the income she wanted. She had a Big Dream of helping parents parent their children non-violently, but did not know how to get there. She wanted to improve her health and fitness. She was experiencing a real struggle with depression, indecision, and her weight.

She and her husband had a huge amount of consumer debt (six figures), but had no clarity on how to increase income to get out of debt. Spending was out of control, and she was disturbed that she was modeling poor money habits to her children.

Her issues caused her to feel easily overwhelmed, and she fought negative self talk. She was aware that she allowed family issues to take her "out of the game". She did not like this but did not know how to change it. Massive clutter issues made it even tougher for her to make any progress.

She wanted to write a book.

Solution:

One of the first things we did was to narrow down her career choices to three options. I gave her the assignment of researching these options. After some work, she planned to go to massage school and got that all set up. At the last minute, family issues derailed this plan. She soon realized that she was not really committed to this career, and we had to start over.

After some more floundering, she explored becoming a doula or birthing coach. She LOVED the idea, and quickly committed to her training. From that point, her life really took off. She loved her training, and I still get ecstatic e-mails from her about how she loves what she does for a living. She got clarity on the fact that one of her highest values is taking care of children.

Next, we started to work on her debt issues. She began to work with her husband on their financial situation. She became a "Credit Card Debt Nazi" by recording debt repayment progress on a spreadsheet I provided, and was thrilled at her progress.

She was given the assignment of writing a list about how to give to herself, and to practice giving to herself. She was also assigned a “Fun List” to create, and to connect with friends. She and her husband started to have fun date nights.  

She realized that she had difficulty setting boundaries. We worked on why she was afraid to set boundaries, and I helped her role play setting boundaries and encouraged her doing so. She developed some skills in setting boundaries and, to her delight, was able to be firm about them. She learned that you don’t have to choose between self care and taking care of others.

We started to work on her weight and fitness. She began to walk daily. When she fell out of her exercise pattern, we came up with the idea that she would set an alarm when it was time to put on the walking shoes and get going. This worked great for her. We explored the concept of making fitness a priority.

Next, we got her into doing weekly planning. She began to take time for herself to meditate. She attacked the clutter and made major progress with those issues. One of her best comments was when she observed her son’s fearlessness and made the decision to model her own life approach after that attitude.

She got a hand held recorder and started to record notes to start the book.

Results:

She got all the following results in only a year!

• P. R. made progress in all aspects of her life.
• The best part is that she has a career she LOVES passionately.
• She learned that she can set boundaries well.
• Inner issues no longer stop her….they only occasionally slow her down.
• She has been able to loosen up and about her children’s neatness.
• She is walking regularly and her weight is coming down. She is becoming more fit so that she is stronger for her work. She has lost two sizes of pants.
• There is less clutter, and she has more control over it.
• She has “let herself off the hook”.
• She has lots more fun and satisfaction in her life.

Where Do I Go Next?

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