From A Frenzy of Fear to Self Confidence and a Satisfying Life

Situation/Problem:

When G. L. started coaching with me, she was extremely anxious. Financial concerns were weighing on her, and she felt frantic. She did not have a plan of action and was unsure as to which choices she should make. She felt that she had WAY too many potential options and needed help with both strategic planning and prioritizing.

She was experiencing a great deal of financial insecurity. She had been making money as a real estate investor, buying low, fixing up, and either renting out or selling at a profit, but had lost confidence in herself. She let situations drive her rather than driving the situation.

Severe health-related physical limitations complicated her planning. Her financial situation was worsening and she had decided to sell her home and move across country to a less expensive location. She was getting her home ready to sell and had physical and emotional challenges related to the move. She frequently felt a generalized frenzy of fear and sometimes felt guilt ridden. She was very tough on herself and seldom gave herself any positive self talk, fun, or play.

She was unsure as to how she should earn income in her new location. She had invested $4000 into a Multi Level Marketing (MLM) plan, but her heart was not really in doing the activities required for success in that work. She had the question, “Should I do the MLM for money, or choose my passion to create instead?”

She was experiencing some relationship issues. Her daughter was very disrespectful at times, and she was not happy with the types of people she allowed into her life. She never felt the type of connection or satisfaction in her relationships that she desired.

Solution:

We spent a lot of time working to create focus and develop a strategy for her. It soon became obvious that she did not want to do the MLM. I suggested that she "let herself off the hook" for that choice and go for her heart’s desire instead. She realized that what she really wanted to do was to continue her real estate investing and to work on mosaics in her new home. We created these strategies for her.

Over time, we worked her through the upset of getting her home ready for sale, selling the house, packing up for the move, moving, getting settled in her new home, and dealing with the wreck the movers had made of her goods.

I encouraged her to practice HAVING the money from the sale of her home rather than going back into extreme anxiety over money. I recommended she get a Home Equity Line of Credit in place as "backup" funds while she renovates current properties (to alleviate money worries). This was not necessarily for her to use, but to have “fallback” money if renovation took longer than expected.

I made a big point of advising her to immediately create a spreadsheet for all her expenses in renovating her new properties. Advised that she make her decisions based on the facts of her spreadsheet rather than emotion…and also to track the cost basis factor of her new home. We discussed the pros and con’s of certain types of real estate improvements.

I strongly encouraged her to listen to her inner guidance and not to be taken in by self appointed “experts”, who had not had the real estate investing success she had. I encouraged her to “own” the reality of the wealth she had created from her real estate expertise.

I constantly gave her a lot of encouragement not to “whip” herself, but instead to be loving and supportive in her self talk. I suggested that she substitute meditation for gin and tonic, and kept emphasizing what a phenomenal job she does of whatever she does.

I encouraged her to rest when she got tired rather than just forcing herself to keep going when she was already exhausted. We talked about her tendency to create a “frenzy of fear”, and to pay attention when she was doing that. We talked a lot about her changing her mental state by shifting her focus to positive, motivational and metaphysical materials. As she did this she seemed to have more control over her thoughts, feelings and attitudes. We did a lot of work to look at the stories in her head that she used to whip herself into a frenzy about money.

We worked on her becoming aware of her patterns in all this and being conscious of deciding to choose differently. We discussed her giving up guilt and creating more self love and more friendships. I assigned her the exercise to study her rationalizations when choosing relationships. She began to see how she did not pay adequate attention up front and this resulted in relationship issues that did not turn out well for her. We looked at her tendency to "fix" or rescue others, and talked about her having permission not to take responsibility for other’s lives.

Prior to her move, I had her do research about activities, organizations and social events in her new area. She made a file of her research, so that she would be prepared to create a social life, and be ready to make new friends as soon as possible.

We spent some time on how to set positive expectations up front with her daughter and how to voice requiring respect from her. We looked at the types of people she wants to attract into her life and discussed  criteria she could create and use. We talked about the fact that it is OK to upgrade the people in her life…and all the relationships in her life!

Results:

She got all the following results in only a year!

• She has newfound confidence in her abilities.
• She is avidly creating mosaics.
• She is active and making a wonderful new life.
• She has renewed belief in her real estate investing skills and her abilities to increase the value of her holdings.
• She is making some great real estate deals and enjoying renovating the properties.
• She no longer experiences fear as a constant.
• She has made major progress toward vibrant health.
• She is making new friends, and upgrading the quality of those friends.

Where Do I Go Next?

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